February 2016

I don't agree that society needs to make room for more genders two is enough for me. I don't have any doubts or problems with being part of the female gender whereas being linked in any way, shape, manner or form with the male gender is anathema. Defining a half way house for transwomen doesn't allow me to get as far away psychologically from maleness as I want to get, it would be a step backwards. I do like the usage of relatively new words such as transwoman and ciswoman however, they do highlight the difference without throwing me out into the cold barren intersex world. I can accept the concept of varieties and flavours of women and I don't mind being defined as being a trans flavoured woman. These problems of where transwomen fit in the dictionary aren't mine, I know where I belong, it is the ciswomen and cismen  who struggle with such semantics. Why do cisgendered people struggle with such issues, just live and let live and treat your neighbour with as much respect as you yourself expect in return. This includes using the correct gender specific appelations. Transwomen expect and deserve to be referred to as she, her, etc, this is simple respect. Turn the conversation around, if a cisman is referred to as she, he would be somewhat perplexed and if this continued he would become annoyed. Think about yourself, don't treat someone else in a way to which you yourself would object.

January 2016

I'm going to branch out a bit from now on and use this blog as a forum for wider issues which affect me.

1. Germaine Greer doesn't affect me at all. She is clearly Transphobic and also clearly doesn't have the slightest idea what a Transsexual Woman is or is not. Her lack of knowledge on the subject and the fact that her opinions reflect her age rather than current opinion cause me amusement rather than angst.

2. Transsexual women in Male Prisons. This is insane, two people given the same prison sentence for the same crime should be punished equally. A Transsexual Woman in a Male Prison will suffer more than a Male Prisoner in the same jail serving the same length of sentence. This is unjust and must be changed.

3. Removing Gender Indicators from Passports and Driving Licences. I am against this. Once I began my Transition it was very easy for me to get a Female Driving Licence and Female Passport as soon as I changed my name by Deed Poll which was also easy. I gained a great deal of satisfaction from finally having an official document stating my Gender correctly. Removing Gender Indicators would deny this to others in my position, hence my objection.

October 2015

To say that it has been a long time since my last post would be an understatement. Everything has calmed down at home. The law has changed in England and same sex marriages are now legal. Kathryn and I are now a legally married same sex couple, un-consummated of course because neither of us are lesbian. I moved from working in Romania to a posting in Gabon with smaller amounts of time in Tanzania, Mozambique, Congo, Cameroon and South Africa. I had a few boyfriends in Gabon and one, one night stand which was horrendous, I won't be trying that again. I mean the one night stand not the boyfriends. I left the first boyfriend because of his insistence of attempting to keep me secret from his fiance. I wasn't serious enough to want him to leave his girlfriend but I also didn't want to be the secret mistress either. My relationship with my second boyfriend was defeated by distance, when I was moved out of Gabon by my company I had no way back so that was the end of that.
I am currently working in the UK, it is strange to be going to and from work every morning and evening after 25 years working random hours overseas and I'm still not sure I like it.
Anyway for those who have read my blog and were worried that there may be no happy ending, my family is still together, still living in the same household, therefore so far so good.

December 2009

There has been a long delay since my last post but here goes. The week after the canoeing trip I took the brood abseiling. There are some abandoned railway lines running through Kimberley and one of them includes a masonry accommodation bridge with enough height to be used for practice. Michelle is too small to try abseiling but Matthew, Roseanne, Rhuarhri and Caitlin all had a go. They all conquered their fears which for some were greater than for others and at the end of the day, after two or three goes, they were all getting the hang of it and good day was had by all. At the end of July we had our family holiday to Center Parcs at Whinfell in Northumberland. Normally we travel a lot during our holidays but this time we chose a stationary holiday in a comfortable chalet in Whinfell Forest. One of the trademarks of Center Parcs is a large swimming pool complex, with slides, jacuzzis and poolside cafeteria. We all enjoyed the pools, cycling and walking around the woods and the wildlife, including Red Squirrels, Jays and Greater Spotted Woodpeckers. Roseanne went horseriding and both Matthew and Roseanne went quadbiking. The holiday was enjoyed by all. Perhaps we will do something similar again.

After our holiday I spent seven weeks working in Romania with a side trip to Turkey. During my stay in Romania I managed to visit Brann castle again and spent a nice weekend in Constanta on the Black Sea. Towards the end of this trip one of the black clouds on my horizon turned into a storm. Kathryn phoned me to tell me that she had tracked down one of her old boyfriends from before our marriage and had invited him to stay at our house for a weekend whilst I was away. Rightly or wrongly I did not object to his visit but having him in my house overnight sleeping in my bed just did not seem right and I could not pretend to be happy with this even though I eventually agreed that Kathryn had the right. However Kathryn went away and thought about it and decided that I was right and the the ex-boyfriend should stay in a local hotel instead. The boyfriend objected causing a bust up for which I was blamed, and after a considerable amount of swearing and crying and putting the phone down and texting we were close to going our separate ways. Normally after a seven week shift I would look forward to going home. But after this shift I was tempted not to go back. I did not know what to expect on my return and approached my front door in great trepidation. Things were icy between us for a few days but eventually the atmosphere improved and a truce agreed. Kathryn is still involved with the ex-boyfriend and of course this means I have no security in my own home. At anytime Kathryn and her ex may want to get closer together. This must mean him moving in and me moving out. Of course I don't want to be parted from my children, or Kathryn for that matter and all that I have worked for but this is not in my hands. One of the symptoms of this insecurity on my part is that I find it difficult to justify spending any more money on house improvements for a house which at the moment I don't expect to be living in much longer.
I had a long stay at home stretching into November. I have become more involved with the Friends of Cromford Canal and I have taken up a position as School Governor at Kimberley Primary School. My canal exploits even got my picture in the paper as one of those bow hauling a horsedrawn narrowboat for a mile to a place where the normal horse power could take over.
I am now back in Romania for a three week stay, but I should be home before christmas. Perhaps this will be my last at home with my family.

July 2009 Update 2

All my most recent posts have been largely doom and gloom so in an attempt to counterbalance this I will report that life in general is improving. The whole of this year so far has been spent either striving for or recovering from gender reassignment surgery with an unhelpful background of a redundancy threat. It is only recently that I have been able to point to any day or any event this year and say that I enjoyed it.
But now I can. I have been on leave for just over a week. Last week I took the campervan for its MOT and fortunately it passed, so last weekend I took the van, my two canoes and six children, if I am allowed to include Matthew in this number, to the Erewash Canal at Shipley Gate to introduce them to messing about on the water. We all had a very good time. Michelle is not big enough to paddle a canoe so she sat in my lap whilst I did the work. I made some beans in the van for lunch, Rhuarhri's share was eaten by him whilst he sat in his canoe. The only person who fell in was me, a victim of bravado of course. I attempted to slide my canoe from the bank and went straight under, but I did learn that you can swim in a long skirt and the water was not too cold. On reporting that the water was not too cold, Roseanne and Caitlin were soon swimming in the canal, shortly followed by Matthew and Liam. Not having learned my lesson from my earlier failed bravado I showed the brood how to do a running dive from the bank, without, this time, coming to harm. Ryan turned up with Sheba and stopped to have a cup of tea and Liam earned £1 opening the locks for a passing narrowboat. Eventually having had a good day out, costing only three tins of beans, several tea bags and a small quantity of diesel we returned home.

July 2009 Update

I had the operation on 14th April 2009 in Montreal, Canada under the auspices of Dr. Brassard. I am still recovering. The swelling has gone down and I can sit down without a rubber ring but I am still very sore along some of the suture lines which to quote my doctor have not yet granulated.
I have signed a new contract with Weatherford and I am now officially based in South Africa on a five week rotation. This does not mean that I will ever go to South Africa for work. I will probably go directly from home to current projects which need my attention. Ongoing projects are in Gabon and Senegal with upcoming work in Equatorial Guinea.
I will take this opportunity to clarify for all and sundry the nature of my relationship with my partner Kathryn. When I realised that Gender Reassignment was in my immediate future it also became clear very quickly that my relationship with Kathryn was suddenly very different. We no longer have a sexual relationship, Kathryn is one hundred percent heterosexual and since I am no longer able to satisfy Kathryn's sexual needs that aspect of our relationship has become open. Kathryn is free to find a new man if she wishes without any hindrance from me. In fact, I prefer to be with a happy Kathryn than an unhappy one, therefore if she did find a man who made her happy I would, I hope be thankful not jealous.
Kathryn likes to say that we are like sisters. I do not believe that this is true. We have a much closer relationship than that and a much closer relationship than most friends can attain. There isn't really a name for our relationship that fits the reality.
I know that if Kathryn enters into a new relationship, that I may have to leave the family home. I am not thinking too deeply about the ramifications should this come to pass, I prefer to remain blinkered and deal with this if and when it happens.
The negative aspects of my transition are the price I accepted that I would have to pay as the price of being allowed to finish my life as myself rather than continuing to try and fit into the groove dictated by our society.

March 2009 Part 2

The problems I had at the beginning of this month are beginning to sort themselves out. The abnormal ECG which was preventing me from proceeding to surgery turned out to be a normal variant to use the cardiologist's terminology. I'll add some detail so that Ryan can look it all up on his favourite websites. My heart has partial Right Bundle Branch Blockage. The heart has two bundles, the right and the left, they are the receptors for the electrical signals which tell the heart when to beat; the hearts natural pacemakers. Because my Right Bundle is ineffective my heart is receiving most of its commands through the Left Bundle. As a result instead of positive going peaks on my ECG, negative going troughs are seen. This is rare, therefore abnormal, but it is not life threatening or life shortening. The cardiologist proceeded to check my heart using an Ecocardiogram and found no other problem which could cause the abnormal ECG. The cardiologist has given me a clean bill of health and as a result the Canadian Anaesthetist has given the go ahead for my operation and I've also passed my offshore medical.
The redundancy threat may also be lifting. New contracts may be offered in the next few days which remove this issue. I will let you know how this goes.